Dear Spam Email, I have some spam for you too

Spammy mails… woot! Image Credit: CLB, The Steadfast Contessa.

I have decided, that since these spammers take so much time to write these emails then take the time to find people to send them to, that I would send my own replies. No, not on actual email, but on this blog. I hope one of them reads this.
Email 1


Headline: Request for partner rejected

I regret to inform you, spammy spammer guy, that I do not become partners with random stupid people on the internet. If you were looking for a date, change your name AMOO11, because telling someone that you like to shout ‘a moo’ at women 11 times is just wrong and a bad pickup line.


The Steadfast Contessa

Email 2

To: Hota Rubi

Headline: You’re spamming an Aladdin song???????

What kind of sick freak are you? A whole new world? Why would you put that in the message unless you expected me to be a child! What would happen if I opened this email? Would you be cosplaying Aladdin (I bet badly, or wearing all pink with a white cat on your head) and serenading me (which would make my laptop speakers commit suicide), tossing little candies and stuffed animals in the air to lure me to you? You send this again and I’ll send you my version of Jackie Chan Adventures where Chan and I are kicking your @$$ and sent you a kind email reminder of it. Have a nice day.


The Steadfast Contessa

To Pamela Rogers, this isn’t Geiko or, so I will not quote your reference number or any number for you.

To Dr. James Williams, what efforts do you appreciate? Do you send this to your patients that almost got cured of something? Or is it the fact you appreciate them putting up with your bulls**t while you decided to type this email instead of stop their internal bleeding?

To Marshall Porter, this is not Dr. Phil. I am not your friend. You are a spammer, and spammers make me do an angry face. You don’t want to make me do an angry face…
This was just a light few days for spam, sometimes there’s a lot more. Have any responses to these spammers? Leave a comment below!


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