Spammers having memory issues now?

This past week I received a lot of new spam mail. Remember, I only gave this email to employers that are well known such as Kmart and Macy’s, etc. The funny thing was, this week the spammers seemed to have dementia or something, because they sent the same email 3+ times either in one day or in two days. Or they’re just sufferers of OCD.

To: Frank Wilson

Headline: I was on a business commercial again, wasn’t I…

Thanks for sending your email twice in the same day then again the following day, I hope that ADHD is going well for you. But your efforts are wasted as I am not a fellow auditor and if you knew me you would know that I care very little about money. Plus, I don’t work for PNC or Citizen’s Bank… Why you people keep thinking of me after seeing business commercials is beyond me. Looks like I’ll have to call both banks now and see if they’re also copying Edgar Snyder and Geiko by putting my email address on their commercials for contact. When will I get paid my dues for this??

Waiting for payments,

The Steadfast Contessa

Mmmm Spam… Image Credit: CLB, The Steadfast Contessa.

To Carter Glenn, personal assistance is needed? Did Jackie Chan come teach you a lesson before I could? Dang. So you must be asking about your missing teeth. How about this, you don’t spam anyone and every week you don’t send spam you get one tooth back? I think that is a pretty sweet deal.

To Canadiana Pharmacy, I do not want Viagra. I am not a man, though I seem to have to wear the pants most of the time. Did you talk to one of my exes who couldn’t be a real man, and thought possibly I stole his penis because he cried like a little girl if you said even one semi encouraging thing to someone else besides him? I think you did speak to him, c’mon… admit it!

To Mr. Mark Gregg, inquiry 1 about what? This must be about me praying to Joe Pesce and Tom Cruise. Send them your ‘inquiry’ about how to pray, not me. I’m not the pastor of any church, unfortunately not even the one that prays to those two. Or, you’re also inquiring about missing teeth, in that case I can’t help you as I’m trying to find all of Carter’s teeth already….

To all the [No Subject]s, [You annoy me. Dr. Phil must be missing patients who need help fixing their stupidity. Enjoy your trip to go see him and tell him to stop referring patients to me when he’s on vacation. Have a nice day.]

To Fedex Courier Service, I don’t know what parcel you’re speaking of that you keep sending emails about. I don’t use Fedex. Plus you sent me two emails with two different ways to spell Fedex/FedEx…. I hate spelling errors. Oh, wait you jogged my memory, I know what parcel you are referring to but why would you ask for it? After all, my fist is going to be slamming into your face, who would ask for that? Spammers, that’s who.

To: Barrister Thomas Okon

Headline: Dang it Edgar Snyder, sending me their employees to discipline now?

You’re a barrister, meaning you act on behalf of clients and that makes me wonder what you need my response for. I guess barrister is the lawyer’s form of spammer when it comes to email. You know the boss isn’t going to be happy with you sending me emails instead of working your case. Weren’t you supposed to be in court 40 minutes ago Thomas? Did you not take your separate examination in South Carolina like Edgar told you to? You were too busy typing this email to remember?  Ugh doctors and lawyers are now both officially going to hell. You all would rather send me emails than to do your jobs.

Slamming her head off of her desk,

The Steadfast Contessa

More spam mail, and more replies from me…

More spam, and you won’t believe what these silly geese did this time. Seems their relatives, some very distant relatives, are sending me similar messages too.

Forgot to take [Spam] off of the spam mail you sent? That’s OK, just fix it 6 hours later and hope the recipient didn’t notice… Image Credit: CLB, The Steadfast Contessa.

To: Mr. Adams Mensah

Headline: [Spam] Watch the spelling

Oops I made a mistake, redo 6 hours later…

To: Mr. Adams Mensah

Headline: Watch the spelling

I think you should follow your own headline and ‘in good faith’ leave me alone, especially if you’re going for religious people’s personal information. They will remember the spelling errors my friend, just an FYI for when you screw with someone again. In good faith from The Steadfast Contessa, please don’t email me again or I’ll pray to Tom Cruise and Joe Pesci, and you don’t want to know what they can do…

Sincerely,

The Steadfast Contessa

To: Mrs. Melissa Lewis

Headline: Sigh… why do people keep thinking of me after seeing a business ad on TV?

You must be related somehow to Pamela Rogers, who thought I was Geiko or freecreditreport.com and could research her reference number. This is not Edgar Snider and Associates. I will not contact your attorney. If you need someone to work on your will, perhaps not spamming people who don’t know you will get you somewhere. Remember, Edgar Snider and Geiko list their phone numbers and/or email on the commericals… if they’re putting mine there, they need to tell me so I can pretend to be a lawyer and reference number checker woman and get paid my dues.

Sincerely,

The Steadfast Contessa

Image Credit: CLB, The Steadfast Contessa.

To Datuk Anuar Ahmad, did Dr. Phil give my email address to you too? If so, you and Marshall Porter need to tell him I am not Dr. Phil  when he decides to take a break. I am not your friend.

To Marina Sanzel, you and Dr. James Williams like sending me hospital things don’t you? I wasn’t at your hospital, if I was I would be dead due to the fact the whole medical team loves to write emails instead of stopping internal bleeding.

To The Princeton Review, you’re cool beans. Thank you for sending me mail and sorry you got put in the spam box for some reason. Maybe you put yourself there to kick the crap out of the spammers for me? If so, extra brownie points to you and have fun (just remember to wash your hands to rid yourself of the infectious spam disease).

To Rita Williams, yes I can see the email is from Mrs. Rita Williams, I’m not stupid. Thank you for insulting my intelligence on how to read email.

To Muhammad Kahn, I’m sure your story is known to the whole internet community… of facebook. Spammers love facebook. So go there, play farmville and eat chips, then make a smart choice to not spam me again or Jackie Chan, Tom Cruise, Joe Pesci, and I will send you a nice email reminder of how we taught you to not spam people.

How politicans see us in traditional terms

Rights of others are being taken away…because of an outdated dictionary definition??

dictionary-1492093-1279x2019Marriage by definition is: “the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc…. a similar institution involving partners of the same gender: gay marriage (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/marriage). Times change and so do definitions of words so please don’t tell me there is no dictionary with the second part of this definition existing today or that marriage MUST be thought of as the traditional definition.

If you want to go by traditional definitions, here’s a few for you. Manufacture used to mean ‘to make by hand’ instead of “to make or process (a product), especially with the use of industrial machines” (new definition from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/manufacture).

Or, how about the word awful? It used to mean ‘full of awe, something delightful’ and now it means something really ugly or terrible.

The word nice, as in ‘nice person’, used to mean someone who was ignorant and/or unaware of what was going on around them instead of “Of good character and reputation; respectable… Pleasing and agreeable in nature…” (http://www.answers.com/topic/nice). Huge differences in my mind.

But these changes are allowed and tolerated, I wonder why a change of the word marriage isn’t even allowing an added on part to the definition…

That’s right, I just schooled you all. You know you love it.

Speaking of these traditional meanings…

Would Obama or Romney support any of those other traditional uses of vocabulary and apply their meanings literally to today’s economy and social situations?

Manufacture means ‘to make by hand’ in the traditional sense, so allowing this definition to be added on to the modern definition would create more jobs where people make things with their hands. Obama would like this, Romney would ship the jobs to China where they’re definitely already using this mixed definition of both making with their hands and using machines to produce things.

Awful. I think I’d like the traditional definition of ‘full of awe, something delightful’ instead. Just makes more sense looking at the word and you can always say ‘that’s absolutely terrible’ if you don’t like something.

I know politicians in general would love this reverted back to the original meaning, so that everyone who says they’re ‘awful’ is actually complimenting them. Of course, I bet the ‘delightful and wonderful’ definition is already in their heads anyway due to ego.

Politicians always say how ‘nice people are’ when they go into towns or have conferences. I bet they go by the ignorant and unaware definitions in their heads, don’t you agree?

So, I believe Obama and Romney would allow 2 out of 3 of these traditional meanings to come back into light… due to ego, nothing else. No wonder things aren’t changing even though: hard working people who ‘manufacture goods’ are ‘nice people’ and are working ‘awful’ conditions.

This translates into for politicians: …things aren’t changing because  hard working people ‘who make stuff with machinery’ are too ‘ignorant’ to know what is better for them so why do they need better situations especially if they are working in ‘delightful’ conditions.

See, 2 out of 3 traditional definitions… they’re really stuck on making things good for themselves and not us, aren’t they? That’s why I won’t vote for either of them, or anyone without a brain.

Dear Spam Email, I have some spam for you too

Spammy mails… woot! Image Credit: CLB, The Steadfast Contessa.

I have decided, that since these spammers take so much time to write these emails then take the time to find people to send them to, that I would send my own replies. No, not on actual email, but on this blog. I hope one of them reads this.
Email 1

To: AMOO11 AMOO11

Headline: Request for partner rejected

I regret to inform you, spammy spammer guy, that I do not become partners with random stupid people on the internet. If you were looking for a date, change your name AMOO11, because telling someone that you like to shout ‘a moo’ at women 11 times is just wrong and a bad pickup line.

Sincerely,

The Steadfast Contessa

Email 2

To: Hota Rubi

Headline: You’re spamming an Aladdin song???????

What kind of sick freak are you? A whole new world? Why would you put that in the message unless you expected me to be a child! What would happen if I opened this email? Would you be cosplaying Aladdin (I bet badly, or wearing all pink with a white cat on your head) and serenading me (which would make my laptop speakers commit suicide), tossing little candies and stuffed animals in the air to lure me to you? You send this again and I’ll send you my version of Jackie Chan Adventures where Chan and I are kicking your @$$ and sent you a kind email reminder of it. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,

The Steadfast Contessa

To Pamela Rogers, this isn’t Geiko or freecreditreport.com, so I will not quote your reference number or any number for you.

To Dr. James Williams, what efforts do you appreciate? Do you send this to your patients that almost got cured of something? Or is it the fact you appreciate them putting up with your bulls**t while you decided to type this email instead of stop their internal bleeding?

To Marshall Porter, this is not Dr. Phil. I am not your friend. You are a spammer, and spammers make me do an angry face. You don’t want to make me do an angry face…
This was just a light few days for spam, sometimes there’s a lot more. Have any responses to these spammers? Leave a comment below!

Article: Employers passing your information around… to scammers.

You really have to be careful nowadays, even potential employers will pass email addresses to scam artists carelessly. Photo Credit: http://www.metrolic.com

Searching through my emails a few weeks ago, I found my spam box full of horrendous scam emails from thieves begging me to send them my contact information for a job referral or that I had won some sort of contest. I normally wouldn’t even think twice about this, but after realizing that particular email address was only on resumes I sent to employers that I knew were real such as Macy’s and UPMC, I became a little worried. A day or two later, the cell number I use for employers only began to get spam texts with people trying to fish my phone’s address book.

I apply for quite a few jobs daily so it wasn’t as if I could pinpoint which company was doing it by looking at application history. Monster.com has a lot of scams, but I didn’t place those pieces of contact information there. It has become even more tiring the past few days to sort which job offers are real and which are not. I could have lost out on a real job because of being cautious with my information.

Unbelievably, it could be the angry receptionist who gives your information away so that you do not get the job they want. The brutality in the search for jobs in today’s economy has crazed people pulling out all the stops in order to prevent someone else from taking what they think they need. I even had a receptionist tell me I had landed a job, then a few days later having the manager email me saying they had decided to go with someone internal. Talk about playing dirty, I was even lied to on the phone! Who knows what that woman did with my phone number and other personal information.

Example of one of the scam emails, similar to a Yahoo scam 2 years ago. Original idea, eh?

In no way am I blaming Macy’s and UPMC, they are both reputable and wonderful companies, but someone out there gave out my information without my consent. I would love to know what company did it honestly, so that I do not under any circumstances be it hell freezes over or Armageddon, do I ever work for them.

Reading this you are probably wondering if I’m scared that potential employers won’t hire me because I am putting this information out. I am not scared. Honest employers won’t have an issue hiring me, it’s the liars that will get defensive and black list me.

Good riddance to the scam artists, stay the heck away from me!

If you have stories to tell like this one, please feel free to leave a reply. But no spam, because the site will delete it anyway so don’t waste your time.